It is really hard to change your mindset.
My ex and I became really serious right at the beginning of our relationship. About 2 months in, we were talking about spending our lives together. We started house shopping about 6 months in, and bought a house together at the 8 month mark. We talked about having a family since the beginning, and were planning on having a baby within about a year of getting married.
Changing the way I think about having a family is really hard.
When I was visiting my sister, we went away skiing for a weekend. While walking the streets of the adorable ski town all I could notice were the little families. The young couples with their kids.
I kept feeling a sense of loss. Like, I was almost there, and now I am not even close. I feel sad that I am so far from having that little family, that I had been planning.
I feel like it is going to take a while for me to appreciate life for what it is right now. To see the positive side of being single. To totally understand that at this moment I can do anything and go anywhere that I want to.
I feel like it is going to take a while for me to see a little family, and not wish it was my own. Do you ever feel this sense of loss?
*Sorry that my blog has been a bit manic lately... I am having some ups and downs, so you get to read about it...*
It really is very hard. Unbearable at times. A roller coaster. I'm not much better off right now, so I can empathize. I hope for better times, for both of us. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteYes a sense of loss is exactly how it feels. I feel the same way too. Maybe it is a process we have to go through, but then the new things will start to happen. Just lots of little things that belong just to you in the present and will start to move you on in the right direction. Let's look out for them!
ReplyDeleteIt will take you time, I suppose. Hold on.
ReplyDeleteI hear you. My father called me the other day, and he mentioned something about how I was in a seemingly good relationship and a year later my who life has changed. It was in the context of you're going through a challenging time and it will be OK, but it made me feel sad for all I have lost in the months since calling it off. Thank you for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine said to me as I started dealing with this loss that "God works in strange ways, but he rewards the strong. Be selfish about your future, not your past."
It was so moving.
I felt the same way after my exfiance and I split up. But I realized that what I missed more than my ex was the being so close to a family. I think that means my ex wasn't the right guy for me. I take comfort in that.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand too. When I was in a relationship I was so close to everything I wanted then it become miles away just over night.
ReplyDeleteI also feel the same way when I am 'seeing' a guy and we believe we have the same 'wants' from life and I think WOW this could be it, I could get it at last, then that ends too and I am back to square one! Sometimes square one is the worst place to be as it is the furthest away from your dreams!
When our time is right we will all get there, I believe in fate and it just isn't our time yet.
Good luck girls
Soph x
I think everyone who has ever loved and lost has been there. I used to weep at restaurants every time they sat me (alone) next to a cute toddler.
ReplyDelete