Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Dates

I didn't ever tell you about what happened with the online dating thing (because I disappeared for a month...)

I went out. On a date. In fact, I went out on two dates, with the same man.

It was ok.

I actually messaged him first, because I thought he was cute, and I thought he seemed cool. We played scrabble on our iphones and chatted back and forth for about a week before going out. He seemed really witty, and interesting.

The first date was a bit awkward.

First off, he did not look anything like his pictures. Like, at all. In fact, I went back to his profile after the date and looked at the pictures again, thinking I might had remembered them wrong. He had gained quite a bit of weight since the pictures were taken. Here's the thing, I don't really mind chubby guys. Heck, I am kind of chubby right now because of all of the breakup weight that I have gained. But the photos on my profile reflect that. I have pictures that were taken in the past few months. That show my body as it currently is.

Back to the date. It was awkward. I felt like I wanted him to take charge more. To ask me more questions. I felt like I was kind of leading the conversation the whole time. And when we went to pick a movie, he asked me about 4 times which movie I wanted to see, even after I narrowed it down to two and said he could choose. It was like he was too accommodating to me. Does that make sense?

Anyway, at the end of the date, I did give him a quick kiss, and we said that we would do it again.

I wasn't sure if I liked him or not but I thought I might want to sleep with him should give it a chance, so I went out with him again.

On the second date, he spent most of the time staring at my chest, instead of my face. In fact, he was staring so intently at my chest, that I went to the bathroom to check to see if I had somehow spilled some of my food down my shirt. Also, he didn't wear his seatbelt in the car which was a total turnoff for me.

So, I decided that I didn't want to see him again.

But you know what? It was good. I hadn't been on a date in over four years. And I had never tried the online thing. And I felt kind of good. I was confident going into the date, and I felt like I might be ready to see someone casually.

Now that I am moving, I have removed my profile. But once I get settled into the new city, you never know, I might try again.

How did your first first date back in the dating scene go?


  1. Found your blog a few weeks back, and I love it.

    My first date after the breakup was a little awkward... I think 9 times out of 10 they are. I've never really been 'courted' before, so going out for coffee, dinner, movie, drinks whatever is kind of odd.

    My first date back was very innocent. Coffee on a Saturday afternoon. Poor guy, very smart, very sweet, very kind, was nervously sweating. We did the standard 'where are you from? what do you do? etc' exchange. It's not that I don't want a nice guy, but perhaps I want someone who is a bit more assertive.

    I think I have a long way to go... luckily I've been dating my arse off in the past month.

  2. I just wanted to say I sympathize with the overly accommodating thing....I hate that!

    I did a hike/run with a friend this weekend, and he informed me, when he got in my car, he wasn't going to wear his seatbelt. I threatened to stop in the middle of the road (there weren't any other cars on it at the time). It's a tactic that works.

  3. Haven't gone on my first post-most-recent-break-up date yet, but am highly entertained by yours! sorry he wasn't what you expected- they so rarely are, but every once in a while we're surprised for the better.

  4. Kathleen, I am definately going to be doing more dating after the move!

    Amy, I didn't notice that this guy was not wearing his seatbelt until I was unbuckling mine when he dropped me off. I totally would have said something to him...

    Larissa, it does suck that he wasn't what I was expecting. I am happy I went on the date though, I need the practice!

  5. A lot first dates are awkward and almost all of them from online dating sites are awkward, but it's awesome to get out there and meet people. Gotta love when they look NOTHING like their pictures though. ;)