Friday, May 6, 2011

Two Weeks

I am moving in two weeks. 

To another province. Closer to my family. To a city I have been to only twice before. 

I am excited. And I am terrified. 

I don't know what to expect. I am terrified that I won't make any friends this summer. That I will sit alone in my apartment Monday to Thursday waiting for the weekend when I can go and visit my parents. 

I am terrified that I will feel just as sad and alone there, as I do here. That the fresh start won't mean anything, because it is me that is still broken. 

I know that from the outside, to my friends and to my family, I am doing really well. But I am still struggling. Night time is still hard. When everything is quiet. It reminds me how very alone I am. 

As soon as I move to the new city I am going to start looking for a new therapist. I stopped seeing mine back in December, but with the chaos of this move, I feel like I need some extra support. 

I feel like I am in a slump, and I'm not sure how to get out. 

1 comment:

  1. I just read your Positive Vibes post, so I don't need to tell you that you have a lot of really exciting things going on in your life. Just remember to cut yourself some slack. It's not a stage, it's a phase, so you'll go through it and cycle back and forth again and again, but eventually have more forward momentum. Best wishes.