I feel like my life is still wrapped up with my ex. When people talk about their spouses and tell stories, I still feel like saying "when we went to Cuba" and "When we bought our house" I feel like my history is in him. Because my memories, all of the memories of the past four and a half years, include him. Even the past ten months, in which I have been healing my heart, are because of him.
I started seeing a new therapist this week (in the new city that I am living in). And I was talking about this with her. When she asked me what it was I wanted to accomplish in our sessions together. And what I told her was, I want to stop talking about what happened. I want to stop thinking about it. I want to stop doing things because of what happened with my ex.
And she told me, that I have to make a decision to do that. That I have to decide, to not talk about it anymore.
That is way easier said than done.
When someone says "hey, have you ever played Little-Big Planet on Playstation?" it is very easy to respond "Yes! My ex and I used to play that all the time. We loved it." Because we did.
I guess it is because our relationship was good. From my point of view. Until the end. When it didn't exist anymore. And until it didn't exist anymore, I was happy. So I don't really have a lot of bad memories of our three and a half years together. All of the bad memories are from when we were no longer together.
So I am going to stop. Stop talking about him in passing. Stop using his name. Stop talking about the breakup. I am in a new place. I am in a new life. I don't need to go over and over my breakup. Bad things happen to people all the time. Heart break happens all the time. And it is terrible. And it is sad.
But it is over.
And this is not to say that I am still sitting at home, thinking about what has happened. Because I haven't been doing that. I am living my life. It is just the little things. The casual comments. The thought that this move was because of him. I don't need to explain my move to everyone that I meet. People move all the time. I don't need to tell people that I went to Cuba with my ex, I can just say that I went there for a friend's wedding.
Have you had to make this conscious choice to stop talking & thinking about someone or something? Did it just happen naturally?