I have been feeling kind of emotional over the past couple of days. I am not sure why I have been feeling like this, but I am having a bit of a set back in terms of how I have been feeling. I am back to having trouble sleeping, and feeling pretty anxious a lot of the time. It probably has something to do with the stress that I have been feeling about rewriting the LSAT, but I am not sure.
This morning at work one of my coworkers was telling me about a friend of hers who is going through a divorce. Her friend and her husband have been separated for about a month and a half, and her friend is getting ready to move back to this city, from away. She is here for the next few weeks sorting things out, and getting ready to go through the motions of the separation.
Anyways this weekend, she went on a date.
My coworker told me about it, thinking that it would make me feel good. Show me that other people have hard times, and they get out there and get dating again.
But for some reason, it totally overwhelmed me. Dating? After being separated from her husband for less than 2 months? That terrified me. My ex and I have been broken up for over five months. And I so do not feel ready to date. I am just starting to realize that men exist. The thought of going out on a date is so overwhelming to me. I can't imagine being able to put myself out there like that. And try to meet someone.
I actually burst into tears in her office. (This is not the first time I have cried in front of this coworker, we are pretty close).
I don't know why I am having this setback. And feeling totally overwhelmed by everything.
Has anyone else felt this way? Felt like you were moving in the wrong direction?
Everyone deals with break ups and healing in their own time. Just because it is taking you a little longer doesn't mean anything bad, it means you are a passionate person who truly holds relationships to a certain level of importance in your life. Keep your chin up and keep going the best you can :)
ReplyDeleteI've had many setbacks after breakups. Short-term boyfriend breakups, long-term boyfriend breakups, husband breakups... It happens. You think you're on the right track, and then life comes and says "Just kidding!" and throws a curve ball.
ReplyDeleteAlso, for your co-worker's friend, she might have emotionally separated from her husband long before the physical/legal separation. I know that's how I was with my ex. And like Tracy said...everyone does their own thing in their own time. And each break-up is different, too.
Also, if it makes you feel better, I've been feeling emotional these past few days, too. I think it's the position of the moon in relation to Jupiter and Orion's belt, and the pull of Betelgeuse. Or something like that. :P
I was going to say what Amy said. The other girl may have had a shit relationship that she was totally ready to be over and done with. You on the other hand were blindsided. There's a lot for you to process and you aren't on any time limits. Do what feels right.
ReplyDeleteSometimes friends say things that are meant to be helpful but dont work out that way. I think she wanted to let you know it was ok if you were feeling you wanted to try dating. You are lucky to have a supportive friend at work.
Take your time and gain strength in other things like friends and also small pleasures- the things that make you you. There is no rush to date.
ReplyDeleteAlso the feeling of being setback emotionally happens when you are under stress. It's the studying you have been doing. The same thing happened to me - I felt like I was beginning to move on from my break up and then I had major studying deadlines, and then I became like jelly again. You need to have a break from it and enjoy all the small things that you enjoy in life. You deserve it :)
Thanks everyone!
ReplyDeleteTracy, thanks for reminding me that I am doing the best that I can right now.
Amy, I am definitely going to blame my emotions on the sky :)
Dolly, it is a good point to say that her relationship might have been done with before it ended. She may have checked out months and months ago. I can not compare myself to someone else.
Nat, I really do think that it has something to do with the stress. I am so drained from all the mental work I have been doing. It is only 9pm and I feel like I could go to bed and sleep till morning.
Again, thanks for all the support!