Thursday, January 6, 2011

PSA about Therapy

Right after I returned to work after my breakup, my boss reminded me about our Employee Assistance Plan. (Wow. What an awkward conversation that was. My very stern, old school, no emotions, male boss, telling me that we had an EAP for employees in "situations like mine").  Basically the way that it worked, was that they would hook me up with a counselor in your area. It is totally confidential, and totally paid for by my employer. (I had actually already contacted them, because I am a bit of a benefits guru in my office, and already knew that I could get free legal advice and free counselling).

It was a great suggestion. 

I was paired with an amazing counselor in my area. 

She has helped me to much! The first time I met with her, I felt better. For real. To have someone who has no connection with me, tell me that what happened to me was terrible, was amazing. Everyone that I had talked to up until that point was effected by the situation. My parents had their feelings hurt. My sister had her feelings hurt. My friends had their feelings hurt. Because I was hurting so much, those around me were hurting too. So their comments and advice, came from a place of pain. But my counselor? Her feelings weren't hurt at all. She didn't know me. She wasn't invited to my wedding. She was a stranger. 

And she told me that the whole situation sucked. And she told me that I am a good person. And she told me that I didn't deserve this. And she told me that it had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with him. And she told me that everything was going to be ok. And she told me that this wasn't the relationship that I was meant to have. And that someone even better was out there waiting for me. And that I am going to be a great wife. And that I am going to be a great mother. 

Of course, she made lots of suggestions too. About things that I could to do help with the healing process. She encouraged me to exercise. She suggested that I read The Secret. She encouraged me to make, and keep, plans with friends. She encouraged me to journal. Which I did for a while. But it didn't really work out for me. (How hilarious, a blogger who couldn't journal)... thus this blog. 

But she was (is) fantastic. She told me each time that I went to see her that I was doing great. And that these things take time. She kept telling me I had suffered a huge loss. And that it was ok for me to feel the way that I was feeling. To have someone validate me like that, was truly amazing. I really think that she helped me to see things clearly.

I started writing this post to talk about The Secret. And about the power of positive thinking. But I got sidetracked by just how amazing I think that my counselor is.

So here is my suggestion to you (all of you...). Check out your Employee Assistance Plan. Check out your Employee Benefits (or student benefits). Check to see what is is available to you. And go and see someone. (This is the end of the public service announcement about therapy....)

1 comment:

  1. I can't agree more...there is nothing better than finding a good therapist that you can connect with. I'm so happy you found one. I had one guy that I saw right after my breakup who told me EVERYTHING I needed to hear, and so much more. My family was too afraid to say something that would hurt me or turn me away from them if I ended up staying with my ex. Hearing this stranger tell me that I was going to be OK and that I had made the right decision to cancel the wedding was like a Godsend. Come to think of it, now I want to write him a thank you note or something...