Monday, December 27, 2010

Deep Breaths...

I'm not going to lie. This week has been a lot harder than I thought it would be.

I was counting down the days to vacation. Counting down the days until I could be home, with my family. Away from my apartment, my job, the constant reminders of everything that has happened.

But, I think that being here, might be worse.

I am constantly reminded of what I am missing. I am feeling overwhelmed. I am feeling anxious. I keep fighting back tears.

And I keep putting on a brave face for my friends and family. I feel like I can't say anything, or do anything, because I don't want to upset anyone, and ruin their holiday time.

Whew. This holiday stuff is a lot of work.

I just need to keep on breathing deeply, and this too shall pass.


(PS... sorry for all the Debbie Downer posts. I was avoiding posting, and then decided it was better to be honest about how I am feeling...)


  1. Whats the point of this blog if you're not open about your life and how you are feeling? Blogging is a great release and you will find amazing support from people.
    Dont worry about sad posts. Soon there will be many happy posts and new experience posts to share too. If there were no bad times how could we truly appreciate the good?

  2. Holiday time around lots of family can be overwhelming at the best of times. You have had such a lot to contend with and I can understand why you have been feeling this way.
    What's good about this, is that when you do go back to your life, it may feel like a fresh start. Where you are in control, of what you do, but also of your happiness in general.
    See this as drawing a line, it's an intense line, but it will be onwards and upwards from here :)

  3. A BIG part of getting beyond those feelings is to first ACKNOWLEDGE them. Once you can do this, it makes things a lot easier, in that you are now looking at SOLUTIONS, rather than focusing on the problem..

  4. Dolly, Thanks. I needed to hear that it is ok to wine for the next little while. There will be lots of good posts in the future.

    Nat, I think that this will be a line. I will no longer have to say, I am not getting married after Friday, I will be able to say I did not get married. I think that the past tense will help.

    KYW, I am definitely looking for solutions.