I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.
I made it home safely to my parents house. And all of my family is also home. My last aunt arrived this evening.
And I am overwhelmed.
I can't help but feel like something is missing. Some part of me is missing.
I am sleeping on a futon in the office, instead of in my childhood room, because that bed is bigger, and my sister and her boyfriend are sleeping in there.
Anytime my friends or my sister refer to their significant others, I feel a pang. I feel like I am being hurt by their happiness. Which then makes me feel terribly selfish and petty.
There are no peanut butter balls this Christmas, because those were my ex's favorite, and my mom would make them specially for him.
I know that this us just one year. And I know that, in time, this will all become insignificant. And I know that I shouldn't let this ruin my holidays entirely.
But I feel sad. And overwhelmed by everything that is going on.
In the past few months, I have not been surrounded by couples. I have been going out with my girl friends. And making new, single friends. But now, I am sitting around the supper table with my sister and her boyfriend. And talking about new houses, and new puppies, and new engagements with all of my coupled friends and family.
Hopefully this is just today, and I will feel better, more normal tomorrow.
Any suggestions to get me out of my funk?